By Christopher Troy

Kingdom Hearts 2
Playstation 2
Square Enix/ Buena Vista Games
1 Player
Rated E10+

It’s been 4 long years since the Reese Peanut Buttercups of Action RPGs, Kingdom Hearts first appeared on the PS2, leaving sequel hungry fans to turn to a GBA spin off, teaser trailers and their own fan fictions for their KH fix. And while it took Squenix (that’s the cool way of saying Sqaure Enix folks) a Half-Life 2 period of time to produce it, the final product is no where as ground breaking as the Valve FPS masterpiece.

That isn’t to say the Kingdom Hearts 2 is a bad game. Far from it, my fellow nerds. Several of the problems from the original KH were addressed and improved in the sequel, including more screen time of everyone’s favorite scarred Gunblade wielder, who I have an unhealthy obsession with. But the flaws in this game ultimately keep it from achieving sequel perfection

Let’s focus on the bad first, shall we. First off this game is easy. Not as bad as Capcom’s Devil May Cry follow up, but it can be finished within 20 somewhat hours without pursing side quests. Even Sephiroth, the silver haired flower girl stabber from FFVII, who you needed to be at least level 100 to touch in the original KH, can be taken out when you’re around level 80. And the inclusion of the reaction command button (triangle on your controller) is a nice addition, but the game’s combat system still feels like a button mashing orgy, and is definitely not as smooth as Sony’s stellar God of War. Hopefully Sora can learn a few more of Kratos’ tricks come KH3. Like tearing enemies head-offs and threesome mini-games for example. That would be awesome!

Gameplay issue aside, Squenix really needs to cut down the cutscenes. KH2 is not as bad as The Bouncer, but there were times I just wanted to smack things, not listen to Sora whine about not seeing his friends.

And speaking of….speaking, what’s up with the voice acting in this game. While Sora and the majority Disney character sound awesome as per usual, it seems that Organization and some of the Final Fantasy characters got the short end of the stick. Squall/Leon/Whatever he’s calling himself today is no longer voice by Angel, and Axel and Aerith’s VAs would have me worried about the Advent Children dub (they’ll be playing Reno and Aerith respectively), if not for the excellent jobs done on Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie and Sephiroth. As for Cid. Mom always told me if you couldn’t say anything nice…..

My last complaint is the rehase of certain boss fights in KH2. While throwing it down in the new levels was a blast and a half, did I really need to fight Ursala, Jafar, and Oogie Boogey again? I think not. I’m not going to complain about the Hades fight thought; I can always use more James Wood in my life. The Little Mermaid level however, is 30 minutes of my life I want back something fierce and Winny the Pooh’s fat, A.D.D. fueled, stuffed ass needs to die of diabetes to prevent him returning to spoil any future sequels.

Now that I pointed out the flaws in KH2 and people are willing to lynch me dressed as Sephiroth….

….Wait, did I point out how utterly unnecessarily having Yuna, Rikku and Paine are in this game? No? Well they are. Seriously, how much more is Squenix going to rip off the Powerpuff girls, Bubbles and Rikku share the same voice actress as it is. Enough already!

…like I was saying, let’s justify spending 50 bucks on this game shall we?

First off, the camera is SOOO SOOOO SOOOOOOOOOO much better in this game, and can be controlled by the R3 analog stick. Combat is more diverse than the first one, and why not as good as some games, there’s more variety with the summons (Chicken Little ownz you all), reaction commands, limits and drives, which is like the Dragon Ball Z fusion technique minus the silly dancing and earrings. The graphics, CGI, and music are always impressive, as they are in any big budgets Squenix game, and if you’ve played through the original Hearts and Chain of Memories, the plot with satisfy you immensely, despite the little snafu involving continuity and Sephiroth. There are even several near little plot twists providing you didn’t listen to spoilers posted on various internet message boards by impatient gamers who couldn’t wait for an American release of this game.

Disney fans should be pleased by the inclusion of several new films, including Pirates of the Caribbean (sans the original cast providing their voices), Tron, The Lion King (with a sweet Shadow of the Colossus-esque boss battle) and Steamboat Willie (which in my opinion, is the best out of the bunch for technical reasons alone), new summons, new areas to explore in the majority of the returning worlds. Plus King Mickey kicks several shades of ass til next week.

And speaking of ass kicking, Square Enix must have gotten all those bomb threats I sent them, because through out the game, the duck and dog will be replaced by far cooler Final Fantasy characters, such as FFX’s resident badass Auron, FFVII’s Tifa, Yuffie and Cloud, as well as his tag partner from hell, FF8’s Squall. In addition to these characters, and ones mentioned above, expect to run into the returning Selphie, as well as new addition such as Final Fantasy’s 8 Seifer and his crew (who speak te3 l33t, w00t!), Final Fantasy diminutive black mage Vivi, and coming from Final Fantasy 6, and pretty boy gambler Seltzer. Did I mention Tidus and Wakka are too busy playing with balls to make an actual appearance in this game? Well they are. Which is good, because while beating the crap of Tidus was amusing enough in the original Hearts, I much rather experience the awesome battle scene in Hollow Bastion than beat his whiny ass up with a wooden sword.

While there’s it shares of flaws, KHII is still a must play for fans of the original, FF fans, or Disney fanatics. From from perfection, the story will have you hooked for the week you can get through this game, unless you decide to play this game on the hardest setting, or explore every nook and cranny in this game, which will reward you with a longer ending that gives you a preview what you may see in Kingdom Hearts 3, which is scheduled to come out sometime between next year and when the Playstation 4 launches.